Are you so scared of me?
by the-monster-in-your-wardrobe
Summary: Section 4 has found a way to get a hand on contractors. But as easy as it seemed their plan goes awry resulting in a strange encounter between Misaki Kirihara and someone she thought she had known. i'm total trash for whump so you know what to expect. slight Hei/Misaki, rated T for mentioning blood and stuff
1. Chapter 1

(This takes place towards the end of season 1)

Hei had known that this would happen one day, that section 4 would find a way, just not so soon. And to be honest he had been waiting for it, being weary of it all.

It was just too soon. There was still unfinished business, what with Amber and the recent developments at the gate. Not that he cared about any of that, but Amber had posed a chance to find out about Bai. About what had really happened in South America.

Now he would probably never know.

(***)

Misaki Kirihara was fuming. The plan had been destined to fail, of course, but nobody had listened to her.

"Are you so scared of me, officer?"

She could still hear his voice, coldly mocking their efforts, his speech slurred from the heavy sedatives.

Slamming the gears of her car harder than necessary she sped away from her boss's office and towards home. She felt her anger rise anew, as she drove down the same route the transport would have taken.

Not all of the plan had been bad of course. They had been in a real advantage for the first time, having a powerful contractor on their side. Why this strange woman had offered her service to the Bureau was still a mystery to Misaki, but her immense powers had finally given her team an opportunity to try and get a hand on other contractors. Especially BK-201.

Misaki huffed.

It could have been so easy, their contractor holding him in place with her ability to change the gravity as she wanted, making it easy to inject the sedative that had been developed by some scientists at the gate. The dose had been heavy enough to bring down an elephant, some part of it even repressing his abilities.

Thinking back the easiness of it had probably been what made the plan fail in the end. As if nobody would notice the huge convoy of police cars heading straight to the complex where section 4 intended to detain BK-201.

Her boss had been adamant to her suggestions, about keeping the team small, making the transport in silence, overall just keeping the whole affair as secretive as possible. The syndicate would find out soon enough as it was.

It had probably been as good as a challenge to the syndicate, parading through the city like that, and naturally they had taken it.

The convoy had been reduced to a confused mess of battered car wrecks by one of those huge trucks crashing right through their midst, about two blocks from where Misaki lived. The car in which they had been transporting BK-201 had been turned upside down and dented so badly they couldn't even reach the bodies of the two policemen sitting in the front, who had died in the crash, the one in the back being stuck between his seat and the deformed door and moaning in pain.

By the time she had reached the car BK-201 had vanished into the night, leaving only his mask behind.

The area where the crash had happened was still cordoned off, making it almost impossible for Misaki to find a parking spot that wasn't miles away from her home. The night was freezingly cold and she snuggled deeper into her warm coat as she walked down the small side street. Her anger had cooled somewhat and she let her thoughts wander to the warm bath she would take before finally going to bed.

A clattering sound from a narrow sideway made her look up, but it was just two cats fighting between some containers.

She was about to turn away when something caught her eye. Something that looked like legs sticking out from behind one of the containers.

Quietly drawing her gun she carefully made her way down the alleyway, keeping as much distance as possible from the container as she walked around, aiming her gun at whoever those legs belonged to.

Someone was sitting there, slumped against the container, black coat making him almost invisible in the dark corner, face obscured by a mass of dark unruly hair.

Her stomach dropping she bent down to take a closer look.

Looking back she felt like she had actually known for a long time. Still it made her breath hitch for a moment.

There, laying right before her was BK-201. It was Li.

Forcing herself to draw a breath, her mind started racing. What was she supposed to do? Probably call her team for help.

She crouched down instead, looking him over.

There was a huge gash on his left thigh, the blood soaking his pants had already frozen it to his leg. Probably had cut himself on the broken car window.

Otherwise he looked surprisingly whole, his lower lip being split, but nothing else of consequence.

Keeping her gun aimed at his chest she carefully reached out to feel his pulse.

He drew a surprised breath at the sudden contact and opened his eyes, blinking slowly, looking to be still dazed from the drugs.

The faintest spark of recognition flashed in his clouded eyes as they met hers.

"Come to finish me off?", he said heavily, his lips barely moving.

He weakly tried to push himself into a more upright position.

"Go on then", he murmured "do it!"

It was obvious he was barely keeping his eyes open.

Misaki swallowed hard. She couldn't bring herself to call her team and turn him in. Maybe she would have done it had he been someone else, but this was Li, kind and gentle Li, who had cheered her up after November 11 had died and who had always seemed like he could never harm a fly.

Inwardly scolding herself she pushed her gun back into it's holster. This was probably the biggest mistake she was ever going to make.

"Do you think you can walk?"

For a long moment he just stared. Then he slowly nodded.

"Come on then. It's not far, I'll help you."

Moving to his left side she grabbed his wrist and, noticing how cold he was, carefully draped his arm over her shoulders.

While he clumsily tried to get his legs under himself she started to slowly pull him upward, the movement causing his black coat to fall open and reveal the long piece of glass jutting from his right shoulder.

Again swallowing hard, she readjusted her grip on him and, drawing a deep breath, started walking, or rather dragging him down the alleyway towards her home.

Somehow they managed the two blocks to her house and the four storys of the fire escape, evading all security cameras on the way to her flat. By the time they got there Misaki was drenched in sweat her shoulders hurting from the dead weight of Li's body.

He had barely been able to stay upright, his right arm dangling useless as he let himself be dragged along. How he had managed to get as far as to where she had found him Misaki couldn't start to imagine.

Kicking the door shut behind them she maneuvered him onto the mat in her living room she had used for her morning yoga session.

In the light he looked a lot worse than he had down in the dark alley. His face was very pale, the dried blood on his forehead standing out in harsh contrast, and his lips had turned blue already.

Moving quickly around her flat Misaki started grabbing clean towels, some bandages she had found in her bathroom cabinet, her portable heater and a few other things.

Setting the heater up close she knelt back down next to him and carefully laid a hand on his cheek, causing him to open his eyes again.

"I need you to sit up for a moment.", she said.

With Misaki's help he managed to push himself up with his healthy arm. Moving around him she carefully removed his coat, making him hiss when it brushed the shard in his right shoulder.

Helping him back down, she removed her own coat an rolled up her sleeves. There was no way to remove his tight black shirt without causing him a lot of pain.

"Just cut it off.", he uttered laboriously.

Looking up she saw his gaze following her every move, his eyes looking less foggy by now.

Nodding slowly she grabbed her kitchen scissors and started cutting through the fabric her fingers brushing lightly over his cold skin

When she had removed his shirt and the top underneath it she took a closer look at the shard protruding from right underneath his collarbone. There was no telling how deep it went or if it had damaged something vital. She would just have to pull it out and hope for the best.

Wrapping a towel around her hand as to not cut herself she cautiously took hold of it, making him grind his teeth in pain.

"Ready?"

"Just do it!", he snarled between clenched teeth.

Without further hesitation she pulled.

A strangled sound escaped his lips, his eyes screwed shut, the muscles in his neck bulging.

For a moment Misaki could see the white of his collarbone, before the blood started flowing in and she hastily pressed another towel down on it, anxiously looking up.

His face had gone ashen and he was panting hard.

Her fingers shaking slightly, she bent down to put a pressure bandage on the wound.

When she had finished, Li had calmed down a little, his face looking more relaxed and his breathing going more even.

Moving down she started cleaning the cut on his thigh, the blood having thawed by now, and wrapped it up.

Wetting another towel she went back up to his head and froze when she found his dark eyes watching her intently.

"Why are you doing this?", he asked quietly.

Not knowing what to answer she looked away.

"I don't know.", she finally whispered, more to herself.

When she looked up again he had closed his eyes, his breathing becoming more and more even.

Brushing his dark hair aside, she calmly cleaned his face, pausing for a second before dabbing at his split lip almost tenderly.

He sighed softly in his sleep making her smile for the first time this day. She grabbed a blanket and in a sudden urge to be close she lay down beside him, spreading it over the both of them.

 _What am I doing?_ , she thought before closing her eyes and wrapping an arm around his chest. Resting her head on his good shoulder she slowly drifted off.

When she woke up the next morning he was gone.

He had even taken the bloody towels with him, leaving no trace of ever having been here, except for his lingering scent on the blanket he had wrapped her in.

Smiling sadly to herself she pulled it closer, shutting her eyes again, wanting nothing more than to have him back next to her.

How in the world could this have happened?

* * *

This is the first thing i wrote for years but I just had to write it. I wrote this on my phone and English isn't even my first language so if you find any mistakes pls message me :)


	2. Chapter 2

It was the third time this week Misaki found herself watching the dark window.

Again she had driven all the way to Okubo, Shinjuku, just to sit there in her car and watch the small apartment building, not daring to go to that door and just knock, like she had promised herself to do for so many times now.

That door with the black 201 on it.

It was almost funny, she thought, how blind she had been.

Her subconscious mind had literally been screaming it at her, but she had not wanted to listen, had refused to see the truth.

It had been almost four weeks, since she had found Li in that alleyway, four weeks since her life had been turned upside down.

She had not been able to think straight for those past weeks, her mind always returning to Li, bloody and broken, lying on her floor.

And always hearing that question.

"Are you so scared of me?"

She had asked that herself a million times.

Was she scared of him? Of Li?

Not Li, she corrected herself grimly, BK-201, Hei.

Her boss had told her that name.

She had not been able to fit those two together, make them blend into one person. It was impossible, it couldn't be.

And yet...

The night after, she had taken that blanket to her bed, curling around it, his scent almost gone by then. She still kept it there.

It was so pathetic.

Of course she hadn't told anyone. Not even Kanami. How could she?

"Hey Kanami, I found out about BK-201 and I think I might have fallen for his alias somehow?"

Outside the streetlamps were coming to life. Which meant she had been here for over an hour already. Just sitting around, staring.

It had not been the first time either, nor the second. She actually had lost count.

In all the time she had spent here, she had not seen him once, there had never even been light in his apartment.

It was probably better that way, as she had no idea what she would have done, had he been there.

Maybe, she thought, he was just asleep, as he probably had to work through the night more often than not.

Killing people.

She swallowed. Hard.

Maybe you should just go home, Misaki, she told herself.

Or maybe, said the small voice in the back of her head, maybe you should just go up there and knock on that damn door.

The voice had become louder and louder, with every minute she had sat here, watching, waiting.

Just like that voice that had warned her of Li.

Maybe if she had listened back then..

Suddenly she couldn't stand it for one more second.

The door snapped shut louder than usual behind her, as she hastened around the corner, almost jogging over the street towards the apartment building.

The old wooden stairs squeaked protestingly under her feet, as she climbed them, but she barely heard them, her mind already fixed on that door with the small 201 on it.

Her hand already lifted to knock, she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

What was she going to say?

Doubt washed over her.

What was she even doing here?

Lowering her hand she started to turn back again, when suddenly there was a voice close behind her.

"What are you doing here?"

Wheeling around she found herself face to face with Li, standing right behind her, so close they were almost touching.

Misaki shrank back against the apartment door.

His brow was furrowed in anger, his gaze cold as ice.

This wasn't Li, this was Hei.

"I...um..."

She felt like her mind had deserted her.

"You shouldn't be here!", he growled, moving closer, hovering over her threateningly.

Somehow her instincts kicked in at that.

"Stop that! I'm not scared of you!"

It was a blatant lie and she was sure he knew that.

He let out a grim huff.

"You should be."

But he reached around her and unlocked the door to his apartment, holding it open for her.

The room inside was almost empty, only a small table in one corner, a rolled up futon in the other.

"Do you really live here?", she asked, not daring to turn around and look at him.

"You didn't come to talk about my furniture."

It was not a question.

Finally gathering some courage she turned to face him.

He was leaning in the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed, his face free of any hint of emotion, like the mask she had seen him wear so often.

"I didn't tell anyone, you know?"

It had slipped trough her lips before she could stop herself.

Still he did not move.

"Why?"

Not knowing what to say she lowered her gaze to her shoes. She dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat.

Finally she answered quietly: "I didn't want to lose my friend Li."

Silence.

"I'm Hei, not Li. You know that."

"Yes, I know."

She swallowed hard, cursing the quiver in her voice.

"Yet somehow you are."

Looking up she met his eyes, still showing no reaction.

Then he shook his head, the corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly.

"Always believing in the good, aren't you?"

Again shaking his head he turned around.

"I'm starving. Would you like dinner?"

And, trying to ignore the soft flutter in her stomach, she finally smiled.

"I would love that, Hei."

* * *

So i couldn't resist writing a tiny chapter 2, the ending of chapter 1 was just too open for my liking.

Hope you enjoy it as well :)


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